


You Can Kiss Me Whenever (I've Always Been Yours)

by thegirlwhowrites



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Depression, Fluff, Happy Ending, I'm so sorry, M/M, i can't tag, sad!Luke
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-29
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 22:05:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,517
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4894105
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlwhowrites/pseuds/thegirlwhowrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>On Luke's bad days, Ashton's always there with open arms.</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Can Kiss Me Whenever (I've Always Been Yours)

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so I've been mia for a while but I'm back with this which has been sitting in my computer for quite a while now, so I hope you like it. Obviously this is fiction and I don't own any of the characters within this fic and was purely written from my imagination. That being said, I hope you enjoy it. Also a massive thank you to J, who is always there for me no matter what, your writing skills are insane x

“Luke?” A knock sounds at the bedroom door of the shared apartment Luke lives in with his three best friends. He knows he has about a minute before Ashton cracks open the door and find him wrapped up in his doona, closed blinds shutting him away from the rest of the world, music softly flowing out of his phone. Today wasn't a good day; he’d barely slept the night before and when he finally woke up this morning he was already late for his first class and the thought of getting up and facing the world was too much for him today. All he wanted was to just curl up and forget about his assessment and classes and commitments for a while.

“Luke, I’m coming in, okay?” Ashton calls softly through the wood of the door, turning the handle slowly as if not the scare the sometimes timid boy. Luke glances up nervously, waiting for Ashton to step into the room, watching as he takes in the scene in front of him, a soft smile on his face as he catches Luke’s eye. Moving to sit down on the bed, close enough that Luke can reach for him if he needs, but distant enough that he isn't intruding on Luke’s personal space, he sits, Luke facing away from him.

“Hey buddy, you weren't in class today; Michael said he hadn't seen you out for food either.” Ashton murmurs, testing the waters to see just how careful he needs to be with him today. Luke turns over and closes the distance between them to rest his head on Ashton’s thigh, cold nose nudging softly against his stomach as he curls his body around Ashton’s back.

“Okay Lukey,” Ashton pauses, warm hand brushing the greasy hair away from his forehead. “How about we get you in the shower? Then we can curl up on the couch and watch whatever you want alright?” Ashton asks, watching, waiting for a response- knowing something is better than nothing. It takes a while, and the whole time he’s waiting for an answer, Ashton can hear Luke’s brain churning as he thinks over the offer, before finally pulling back a bit to look up at the older boy, nodding gingerly.

Luke moves slowly, pulling himself up to rest his head against Ashton’s shoulder, turning his face into his neck when Ashton presses a kiss against Luke’s forehead. Ashton knows not to push Luke; letting him climb out of his bed slowly before taking the shaking hand he offered. Ashton leads Luke slowly into the bathroom, pushing him down gently to sit on the closed toilet as he moves around grabbing towels and adjusting the shower. He can feel Luke’s dull eyes bearing into the back of his loose t-shirt.

“I’ll be just out in the lounge okay? Get dressed and come out when you’re ready, yeah?” Ashton hums as he pulls Luke up gently, moving towards the door. He looks back over his shoulder with a warm smile before shutting it quietly.

/ / / / / / / / /

The thing about Luke’s grey days was that anything could set him off into a destructive spiral. He’d start by shutting out everyone and everything, he wouldn't eat, and he’d just lay in bed and sleep through it all. The boys had learnt how to deal with the younger boy over their years of friendship but they all knew there was something special between Ashton and Luke. He seemed to know exactly what to do and how to bring Luke out of his mind quicker than the other boys. There was an extra sense of security and comfort Luke felt with Ashton and while they both felt it, Luke believed Ashton would never fall for him that way, but mostly, Ashton just worried that he’d hurt Luke beyond repair.

(They were both just as oblivious as the other.)

“How’s he doing?” Calum asks as Ashton pads into the kitchen.

“Not good. I don’t think he’s even left his room since he got home yesterday morning from work. He’s in the shower- I managed to coax him out with movies though. Might try and get him to eat something too; smell good Cal.” He smiles, sitting down on one of the bar stools as he rubs his face, hands swiping at his tired eyes.

“I’ll just plate him up a bit then, I don’t think Mikey’s got any plans tonight so we’ll join you, if Luke’s good with that.” Calum smiles as the front door to their apartment swings open, Michael’s currently black hair popping into view as he toes his shoes off.

“Hey guys, what’s up?” He asks walking into the kitchen, dropping his bag by Ashton at the counter as he leans against the kitchen bench beside Calum at the stove top.

“We’re having a movie night with Luke if you want to stick around; Ash just got him out of his room.” Calum explains, turning off the stove as he begins to plate up the food.

“Yeah sounds great, I’ll shower after dinner and join you.” He smiles, taking the first plate of food, running off to the table quickly before Calum can scold him.

/ / / / / / / / /

Luke towels himself off before stepping out of the bathroom quickly- the last thing he wants to do right now is look in a mirror. He creeps back down the hall to his room, drying his hair before he steps into a pair of trackpants. He takes one look around his room for a shirt before giving up and heading to Ashton’s room.

With one of Ashton’s stretched out shirts hanging off his frame loosely, Luke makes his way towards the living room after throwing his towel in the washing pile. He twists his fingers in the shirt as he steps out of the quiet hall into the living room, knowing by now that all the boys should be home.

“Hey Lukey,” Michael calls from across the room, standing from his place in front of the couch as he moves towards him, pulling him in for a hug. “I’ll be right back okay, start without me, yeah?” He whispers, pulling back from the hug as he moves out of the room.

“Feeling a bit better?” Ashton asks, as Luke sits down beside him, the older boy repositioning himself to pull Luke against him. Luke shrugs, leaning back to rest against the warm boy, head falling to against Ashton’s neck once again as he makes himself comfortable between his legs, hands reaching out to toy with Ash’s unoccupied fingers. It was something Ashton found Luke often did; he’d always been interested in hands, Ashton’s especially but he wasn't about to stop the boy from seeking a form of comfort.

“Hey buddy, made you something to eat.” Calum calls as he walks into the room with a small bowl and fork, holding it out to him. Luke can feel the other boys’ stares as he eyes at it for a moment before taking the bowl with a thank you so quiet the two boys almost miss it. “That’s okay, just happy to see you. Right so what are we watching Lukey boy?” Calum smiles as he moves to sit on the floor by the TV, waiting for Luke’s reply.

“Whatever.” Luke whispers, eyes falling on the fork in his hand as he pushes the food around in the bowl.

“Just put on _Monsters Inc_ or something Cal.” Ashton suggests, wrapping his arm around Luke’s waist as Calum sets up the DVD player. “I don’t care if you don’t eat the whole thing but you have to eat something love.” Luke jumps slightly at the soft voice in his ear as he looks up from his bowl onto the hazel eyes staring down at him.

“Fine.” He mumbles as he starts to eat slowly.

“Thank you.” Ashton whispers into his hair as the opening credits roll in.

/ / / / / / / /

Two and a half movies later and they’d lost Calum and Michael, who had fallen asleep against each other on the other sofa. Luke, who had been nodding off for the last few minutes, whimpers when he feels Ashton moving to stand behind him.

“Hey shh, I’m just going to turn the TV off and send the boys to bed and then we’ll go back to my room, okay?” He reassures the younger boy as moves to switch off the TV.

Ashton stretches as he stands up, back cracking as he raises his arms above his head, Luke’s tired eyes watching him as he leans over the sleeping boys, waking them both up with a shake of their shoulders.

“Come on bedtime.” He calls softly, making sure they’re both awake as he straightens up, turning to find Luke right behind him, finger’s fisting the bottom of his shirt again.

“Hey, come here.” Ashton smiles fondly at the boy, pulling his hands away from his shirt and holding them in his as they follow the boys down the hall. Goodnights passed between them all as they enter their respective bedrooms until it’s just the two of them left. Ashton leads them into the bathroom, stopping at the sink as he sorts out their toothbrushes, Luke’s lanky body pressed against his back, refusing to be away from the other boy for even a moment. He whines when he has to step away to wash his mouth out when he’s done, slight smile only returning when Ashton’s hand finds Luke’s again, pulling him to the older boy’s room.

Luke often ends up sleeping in Ashton’s bed, while it’s usually on grey days, there is just something about spending the night curled up with Ashton that he finds comforting, in ways different from the other boys. He never pushes Luke away like the others do sometimes- he is always there with open arms.

Luke is already under the covers when Ashton joins him, after changing out of his day clothes. Ashton settles down on his side, turning to face Luke, who immediately tangles their legs together. Ashton offers his hand to Luke as he settles down, and Luke easily slips his cold fingers in Ashton’s warm ones. Something else he liked about the older boy was their late night talks, they were often about nothing at all but he enjoyed listening to the Ashton’s voice as he falls asleep. Luke loves the way he can feel the rise and fall of Ashton’s chest as he breathes deeply, warm breath fanning over his head and the rhythmic _thump-thump-thump_ of his heartbeat under his ear- it seems to make falling asleep manageable, even on the days it felt impossible.

Ashton watches as Luke begins to drift off, still talking aimlessly about things that had happened throughout his day, things that he wants to share with the younger boy. When Luke’s breathing evens out, and Ashton thinks he’s finally asleep, he raises a hand to the blonde hair resting limply against Luke’s forehead, running his fingers through it gently.

“I wish you never had to go through all this Luke, no one deserves this type of pain, especially not you,” he sighs, “I’d do anything to stop you feeling like this, I’d rather suffer through it than have you have to deal with this all. And I know this is such a shitty way to say all this because you’re asleep and you’re not going to remember this but I love you so, so much and it kills me to see you so sad. I feel like such a coward for not having the courage to tell you when you’re awake, but the last thing I want to do is make you hurt or confused or sad, or in _any way_ contribute to you feeling like this. B-but I just want to tell you how much you’re loved and it’s an infinite amount Luke.” Ashton breathes out heavily, trying to stop the tears from forming in his eyes, because he needs to be strong for the younger boy.

Ashton’s heart nearly jumps out of his throat when the sleeping boy- or so he thought- sits up suddenly, wide blue eyes staring panicked down at him, panic evident within them.

“D-do you mean all that?” Luke asks in a rushed whisper, eyes falling back down to his hands as he waits. There’s a slight wetness in Luke’s eyes, mirroring Ashton’s own, and after taking a second to realise that he’s literally just poured his heart out to the boy he’s been in love with for years, Ashton sit up, hands moving to cradle Luke’s rosy cheeks, forcing him to look up at him as his thumbs swipe across the warm skin there.

“I do Luke, more than anything.” He whispers back, resting their foreheads together.

“I love you too Ash,” Luke gasps out, tears springing to his eyes, “I didn’t think anyone would ever fall in love with me.” He shakes as a sob rips through him.

“Don’t ever think that again love, I’ll always be here, loving you, no matter what.” Ashton replies fiercely, wrapping his arms around the crying boy.

/ / / / / / / / /

Luke pulls back suddenly, once again scaring the living daylights out of Ashton in the process, a strange look on his face as if he’s just realised something important.

“Ash?” He asks tentatively.

“Yeah love?” Ashton responds, taking in Luke’s features as the younger boy seems to shift further through his thoughts.

“Can- does that mean- does this mean I can kiss you now?” Luke blushes as the sentence falls from his bitten lips.

“Please,” Ashton blurts out. “God, yes, I mean- you can kiss me whenever, I've always been yours.” He replies, lifting a shaking hand to cup his cheek, both boys leaning in slowly.

Kissing Ashton was more than what Luke had always expected, it was like a thousand happy days and coming home and the _safest_ place Luke could possibly stay. He wanted to get lost in the kiss, but his tired limbs made it difficult to cooperate with his overexcited brain. He pulls back gently, before brushing a lingering kiss against the other boy’s ruby lips. Never in his life had he been so thankful for something, for someone and he sure as hell was going to keep this boy around.

\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \

(Things aren't perfect, they’re far away from that really, but now the grey days are more manageable with Ashton by Luke’s side. Luke also has a therapist now, who he sees on the bad days, and while he had been reluctant to go, it isn't anything like he thought it would be. On the worse days he goes to Ashton, whose arms are as warm and inviting as the bed they curl up together in every evening now. And when he has nightmares, he no longer wakes up from his racing heart, but from Ashton’s kisses, pulling him out of the horrors in his head. And everyday he thanks Ashton for loving him, and wanting to be apart of his life because not only does he wants to be whole for Ashton, but because he fuels him to be better for _himself_.)

 


End file.
